Disclaimer: This is an unedited short story I wrote when I was a teenager. There’s some inncorrect stuff, but it is intentionally left unfixed.
One day the Duracell Bunny went walking through the clouds. After a while he saw a little black dot in the white clouds, and when he reached and picked it up he found it was an appleseed. In fact, it was one of the very appleseeds that Johhny Appleseed dropped when he went tossing seeds around the continent. It had evaporated with the rain one day and went up to the clouds. The Duracell Bunny decided to eat it, so soon apple branches started growing out of his sides. The Duracell Bunny didn’t mind at all because now he could have fresh apples whenever he wanted. After doing what the Duracell Bunny does (go on and on when accually he was walking in circles while the cloud was moving), he suddenly fell into a hole in the cloud and kept falling, for it was a long way down. As he fell there was a rainbow, and he fell right through it. The Duracell Bunny-apple tree thought this would probably have some strange effects, and he soon found that it made all his apples grow to be every color of the rainbow. When he finally did land on Easter Island, he broke in half from the fall and became somewhat helpless.
Now before I go further, I must tell you something about this Easter Island. The easter island people were a happy but short lived people. Rumor has it that when news of Jesus’ ressurection went out to all creation, a certain group of rocks on a certain island were so overjoyed that they came to life. Then they carved themselves to human shape so they could dance and party. Their downfall was that, because they didn’t have brains, they never thought to do anything else, so when they ran out of energy they just stopped and stood where they were. This was how the island and it’s stone people got their names.
There was one Easter Island Man who once saw the water and wondered how it tasted so he stopped dancing and took a drink. So because he had a rest and a drink, he didn’t run out of energy when all the others did. A while after the other people ran out of energy, he forgot why he was dancing so he stopped and took a nap. A long time later he woke up and when he looked around and saw all his friends stopped where they were standing and suddenly remembered why they were dancing. He didn’t start dancing again because, while he was sleeping, a group of fleas had started a circus in a hollow place in his head, so now he had a brain.
This last Easter Island man was just thinking how he could get other people to continue the celebration, when he saw something fall from the sky. When he rushed to the place, there was a half a bunny with apple branches with colored apples growing out of him still clutching on to a drum that had also broken from the fall. The other half had fallen into the sea. When the Easter Island Man saw that it was still alive, he franticly looked around for something to keep it from dying. The first thing he found was a hen, so it cut the hen in half and stuck half of the hen with the half of the bunny-apple tree with rainbow apples. He was thinking that two halves always make a whole. (a whole what?, you may ask) Luckily, the hen half was the inside half and the bunny half was the outside and, naturally, the apple branches stopped growing, for now they had no roots in his body. When the Duracell bunny-chicken came to, he had a strange feeling and soon he had produced a rainbow-colored egg.
“Are you okay?” asked the Easter Island Man.
“I’m great, let’s go explore that cave,” the Duracell bunny-chicken loved to do anything he saw to do, as soon as he saw it. So they went into the cave and found a huge mountain of candy. This had been the accumulation of Christmas presents that Santa Claus left for the Easter Island people before they ran out of energy. It had never been touched because, as I said before, the Easter Island people never stopped dancing. Just as a clown flea was juggling tiny torches, the Easter Island Man had an idea. He proposed that the Duracell bunny-chicken should go around the world every Easter and give people candy and rainbow colored eggs to continue the celebration about Jesus’ Ressurrection that the Easter Island people had stopped long ago. Since the Duracell bunny-chicken thought his job with Duracell extremely boring, he gladly agreed. This is how the Duracell bunny-chicken became the Easter Bunny.
If you ask how the Easter bunny gets around the world every year, the Easter Island Man is very fast and he doesn’t get tired so he carries the bunny around. He would do it himself but he isn’t cute enough to be appealing to all the kids and he can’t lay rainbow-colored eggs.
This story is also why there is no Duracell Bunny today, much to the relief of the Energizer Bunny.